Can I Live?

Updated: Dec 6, 2018

Three simple words. Thank you Reasonable Doubt. Thank you Jay-Z. 

I'm going to be 100% honest with you, black woman are fighters. We have to fight white men, white women, black men, other black women, society, stereotypes, jeans that aren't made for actual butts, we have to fight everyday. Sometimes I feel like I have to put on a mask, a higher voice, sound cheerful, always act perky, use bigger words, not pop my gum, and refrain my all those neck motions I've grown accustomed to... all in the name of proving myself and if I'm not perky now I have an attitude. Being a woman who happens to be black isn't enough. We can't be humble, we have to boast our achievements otherwise we don't get the respect we already deserved. Let's not even talk about the hyper-sexualism associated with having a fat ass, large breasts, and full lips. Not today.

5 things that erk Black Girls last nerve and make us want to say:  "Can I Live?"

1. Can you twerk? 

NO...I can't. Actually, I can. I twerk decently. But guess what? I wasn't born with the innate ability "throw that ass in a circle". In fact all this me time and self care at home allowed me hone in on my twerk skill, aka practice. Many nights at home alone (technically with Ocho, but whatever) I turned on a playlist until I learned how to control my gluteus minimus, gluteus medias, and gluteus maximus. Stop asking if you don't actually have any real intention of learning to twerk for meaningful purposes. And stop assuming that I can. If you want to dance by all means dance how you want I don't care, just ask YouTube first.

2. What do you do to your hair? 

When it's curly: I washed it

When it's laid: I flat ironed it

When I've got braids/twists: I got it braided (awaits the weave question)

When it's in a bun: I just wrapped it in a bun

Literally, I did nothing special. Now, honestly if you ask a genuine question I'll answer it. But when you look and treat me like I'm an object and not a person it really makes me feel like I've been completely dehumanized.

I don't ask to touch your hair just because it's different than mine. Show me the same respect.

3. Heyyyy Sista! 

I'm not your sister. If you don't say that to every woman that you're friends with don't save the 'sista talk' just for me. I deeply value sisterhood and girl gangs, so unless you're benefitting society with our sisterhood and making the communities we live in a better place, save the sista slang.

4. Stop being so surprised when I tell you I'm educated.

-My major in college: kinesiology/heath and wellness

-The high school I graduated from: The Walnut Hills High School

-Or that I played collegiate soccer: D2

I'm not well spoken, I speak like you. I speak normal. We speak the same. That's it.

::I'm going to leave this right here::

5. No your hair isn't nappy and neither is mine. 

The reason why your hair isn't nappy is because for hundreds of years it lacked any ounce of kink, it never curled into something that took just a little extra work to comb out, nor were you persecuted and made fun of because of it's texture.

This is for the women (including myself) who were scrutinized for years of their lives for having what was considered nappy hair and made to feel less than special because our hair wasn't blonde, brunette and straight. This is why you can't call your un-kinked hair nappy.

Lets Ball Out

Ray B.